As only The Onion can report, they have narrowed down how pedestrians can stay safe crossing roads. While it is a spoof, it is telling.

Pedestrian  Adam Hartsell in Chicago “reportedly made sure to look up at the driver of an approaching vehicle Thursday to ensure they would feel extra guilty in the event they failed to stop and ran him over. “

The 26-year-old pedestrian has two approaches walking across intersections~ he “emphasized the importance of not only locking eyes with each and every oncoming driver, but also delivering a hard stare that conveys a stern moral appraisal of any who would not brake their vehicle in time. “

“In this way, I will be able to haunt their dreams long after they’ve struck and killed me. If I have enough time, I also make sure to look any passengers dead in the eyes, so that they, too, will be hounded for years by debilitating remorse. It’s important to take these small precautions.”


  1. I find that drivers are worse at blocking intersections and crosswalks in Vancouver than a lot of other cities. Vancouver drivers are also bad in not respecting stop lines. Interestingly, we were in Montreal last year and noticed that when cars block intersections, pedestrians walk behind them to allow the drivers to clear the intersection, whereas in Vancouver, they almost always walk in front not allowing the drivers to clear the intersection, which often impedes cross-traffic.

    1. If a motorist has been sitting in a crosswalk well before I approach on foot, I’ll go around the back but, if they bully their way in front and block me when we arrive at the same time, I make it a point to go around the front of their vehicle – taking my time – with eye contact; maybe mouthing a few words. No way will I walk around the back and their polluting exhaust, so they can make a quick getaway. Absolutely detest walking around the back of vehicles and it’s ridiculous that motorists assume pedestrians should.
      I’ve been having flashes of omg, what it must be like to get hit by a murderist.
      Survivalist for the vulnerable pedestrians, cyclists, seniors, kids – entitlement for the airbagged, coffee sucking commuters

  2. It would be great if pedestrians would respect the “stop walking hand” signal, to allow drivers to clear the intersection.
    Vancouver city needs to install “pedestrian priority” crossings at key intersections (Burrard and Davie, Georgia and Granville, a few Broadway locations).

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