As a valuable time-saving service to Price Tags’ readers, we will henceforth dispense with attempting to list who is running for various offices in the upcoming October 20 civic election. Instead, we will identify those who are not running, a much smaller number of people for you to track.
With thanks to Frank Ducote:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
September 14th, 2018
Judy Rudin announces that she will not run for Vancouver mayor in 2018.
Vancouver, BC: Citing a decided lack of interest amongst local politicos, community organizations, media and her own Mom, #vanpoli gadfly Judy Rudin has decided not to run for mayor of Vancouver in the 2018 civic election.
“I thought I’d be the change that I wanted to see, but then I also discovered that one vote ain’t gonna cut it, even in the ginourmous mayoral field that has already declared,’ an oddly ebullient Rudin said of her ‘dead-before-it-even-started’ non-campaign efforts.
Christened the ‘Un Campaign’ (Tastes Great, Less Filling!), Rudin described it as an ‘effortless ask’ of her city’s citizenry, mostly because she understood a lack of effort is a hallmark of Vancouver local elections.
‘I sincerely believed that citizens who never vote in municipal elections could finally find in me, a real champion. That’s why I really, really wanted to be known as the ‘People’s Politico.’ I understand that ennui, torpor, and the incredible variety of shows that Netflix has on offer are all contributing barriers to the average voter, who might entertain the idea of participating in the voting process. Promoting new ways of voting that precludes the necessity of any kind of physical movement at all was an item near the top of my agenda. I guess I’ll have to leave it to the millennials to carry that banner for us into the future.’
Rudin’s platform may have not excited those in the know, but she still believes it could have been a winner, if only she’d been bothered enough to go down to City Hall to register for the mayor’s position.
Those Top Three Vancouver 2018 Election Planks:
1) Nationalize the Fairmont Pacific Rim Hotel
2) ‘Dunk Tank Tuesdays!’ at Vancouver city council meetings
3) One word: YEEEEEEhaaaaa!
When asked, pollster Cario Manseco said that he had taken an initial sounding of a potential Rudin candidacy.
‘Frankly, we have never seen less interest in a candidate before,’ Manseco enthused. ‘Really low, low, numbers. We considered sending an intern over to hold a mirror under her nose, to see if in fact, she’s actually alive.’
Rudin vows that her non-run as putative head of Vancouver City Council will not prevent her from exercising her right to criticize/ride/nitpick/ the efforts of the new mayor and council.
‘My comfy bean bag chair is my shield, my laptop my sword. I will be watching, on all our behalves, my fellow Vancouverites.’
‘But not during ‘Better Call Saul.’