Arnie Carnegie disputes the premise of the Point Grey Road house:


This is not challenging architecture. It’s boring. An open deck rooftop and an open concept kitchen/living space are not challenging.

The parkade is nice. The cars will be happy. Maybe the owners will decide to turn it into a living space. Have to watch out for the Point Grey Whiners though. They’ll burn up the phone line to the city.

Where’s the laundry room?

The problem with architects and builders is that, by and large, they don’t do laundry. They stick a stacker in a closet and say: “Job done.” It’s not. It sucks.

The laundry room is important. It should be large, airy, and comfortable. It should have tons of workspace and closets. Ideally, there would be a clothesline accessible from this space. The bathroom must be adjacent.

Clothing shouldn’t ricochet from room to room. Most of it should take up permanent residence in the laundry room closets.

If architects and builders did laundry, this room would become the new man cave. Deluxe.

Architects and builders don’t do much cooking – which is why their kitchens are so bad. The kitchen sink must be in an outside corner with the best light and views. It should be surrounded by stainless on both sides, not dropped into a slab of stone. That’s absurd – and stupid expensive. The backsplash should also be stainless. Get the whole shebang fabricated.

The shelves surrounding the sink must be open. Otherwise you’ll go crazy opening and closing cupboard doors.

If you want granite, or other idiotic stone counter, have it put down in one piece. Bamboo is better. A small marble piece is nice if you do pastry.

The fridge and stove must be within, at most, a pivot’s reach. Proprioception. If you stick an island in the middle of this holy triangle you must be locked up with a book on kitchen ergonomics.

The fridge is the monster in the kitchen. Do what you can to attenuate the noise of this animal. To have it adjacent to a living room in an open concept is to never escape its penetrating sound. That’s what walls and doors are for. Open concept is the dumbest concept – except for builders for whom it’s way cheaper and easier to throw up, and sellers who wow buyers with the apparent size and misguided notion that they’ll be entertaining. Hello lonely people – having an open concept kitchen does not make you entertaining, nor will you entertain. Don’t be a sucker.

The genius that invents a good silent fridge will make a fortune. It’s ironic that in the days of yore ice boxes were silent while we suffer the rumbling, hissing, clanking fridges of modernity.